Situation Wanted

Lately I have been focusing on my poem “I’m Not Going To Lie To You” – but this was a good poem that I wrote for Robert. In 1996 my beloved brother Robert was leaving DMC and his friends were having a going away party for him.  Like most activities associated with my brother humor was needed and a roast-type reading was requested.

Since I couldn’t attend my sister Barbara asked me to write something.  I told her I couldn’t write something without a hook – what was the hook?  In the following days reading the classified ads in the local newspaper I came up with my hook.  This is best read from Robert’s point of view.  J


I was lying on my couch, this weekend past.
Skimming the paper, and reading it fast.

Scanning the front page, Parade and financial
Searching the classifieds for a deal quite substantial

There in Employment, an ad caught my eye
The details of which I will now amplify.

I need a job.  I need to be hired.

I am quite handy and intelligent too.
I can reveal all this in the first interview.

Now about this job, I hope to acquire-
The work should be casual, like my attire.

No heavy lifting, or labor too manual.
A salary increase at least 12% annual.

I get up quite early, can be there by eight,
But my cows get out, so often I’m late.

I am a cheerful co-worker (unless I am wishing)
That instead at work I was outdoors fishing

A couple weeks off in months June or July
Depends on the weather, I can’t notify!

Just when I’ll show up or call in that day
I’ll make a $100 by selling this hay.

I labor real hard on this annual event
So when I return my work should relent.

Go a little bit easy, a little compensation.
Before I leave town for my Fall Vacation.

So if you have just the right kind of job
Call me at home and ask for Bob.

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